Windows 95/98: "32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."

Whoever is the genius in the advertisement deptartment at Microsoft, they have done it this time. Anybody seen the IE ads on TV started in 1997? The one with a very effective choral music playing in the background? Well, the background music is the Confutatis Maledictis from Mozart's Requiem (Mass for the dead). And the words of the final blast of music which accompanies "Where do you want to go today?" are saying "confutatis maledictis, flammis acribus addictis..." which means "the damned and accused are convicted to flames of hell".
Is this the right message for an ad?

Just beeing curious about f/win 4.21g I looked a little bit inside. And can you imagine my suprise? What do you think I found inside? (wwpack protection removed by cup386 ver 3.20) This nice piece of text has been found:

* Welcome! If you read this, you have just give me the proof that my opinion about you is correct. You are one of these bastards that think cracking or stealing other people hard work is just the right way to go (like the authors of HMVS and PERFORIN seem to think). Well, I can`t stop you. But I watch and wait. And never forget... *

Another interesting piece of AV software is HMVS. When someone will take a look, there are here interesting things to see...

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
--Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"But what...is it good for?"
--Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM commenting on the microchip, 1968.

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
--Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

Unix is an operating system, OS/2 is half an operating system, Windows is a shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus.
-- Peter H. Coffin

Q: Why do PCs have a reset button on the front?
A: Because they are expected to run Microsoft operating systems.

The software said it requires Windows 95 or better, so I installed Linux

If NT is your answer, you don't understand the question

USER, n.:
    The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot".

Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 1/2 tons.
-- Popular Mechanics, March 1949

C isn't that hard: void (*(*f[ ])( ))( ) defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void.

Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
Because OCT(31) == DEC(25)

PROGRAM - n. A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages.